You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
