Small penises have feelings too.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
