she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
