its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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