I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
