please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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