apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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