Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just pee around me
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
