I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
