Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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