I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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