brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
