I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
