dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
