So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i dont even know how to be here
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
