why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
