So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
