The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
