What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
