How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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