Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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