Your tits are I can't wait for
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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