forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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