There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
