I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
