Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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