Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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