I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
