Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
The cops high fived after they tackled you
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
