Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
