Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
