If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Come see our sink grown plant.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
