Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
