I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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