So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
