I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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