He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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