So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
