so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
