he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
