You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
