dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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