so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
oh god the rape fog is back!
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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