why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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