She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
