Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
im six kinds of drunk right now
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
