Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize
