i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
