The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
