idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
