Michael Bay diarrhea
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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