how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
