So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
