That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
