youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
