i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
