He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
